I need to confess my sins

This year has been a crazy one. Its been a year of growth for me and I have done things I didn't even think possible for me to do. I have lost alot of weight and I have become beautiful on the outside. But now the year is almost over and I need to confess my sins.

First sin: Vanity/Pride. I have been a bitch to ppl for I have finally been able to feel like a beautiful person. I have put down others to feel somethin and I have been braging abt how much better I feel now. That is not the way I should go and I did not do that before. I need to change this one.

Second sin: Sloth. I have a back problem and its bad. But once of twice I have used it as an excuse to bee lazy. Also I have not cleaned my place at all.

Third sin: Wrath. I have been nasty to ppl I dont like or care for. I have been talking behind somebodys back and that one I regret forever. Karma always kicks you in the ass when you do that and yes it already has.

Fourth sin: Envy. Yes I still envy ppl even tho I feel much much better abt my self. Its mostly been abt the things ppl have, Material things. I guess that this one is not really bad everybody envies someone.

Fifth sin: Greed. I have been Greedy I have bought things that I don't need. Things that I could not afford really. Too many times I have chosen to buy a dvd over eating somethin. When somebody gives me somethin (candy or such) I have taken more then I should. This one I think also go in to category of human nature.

Sixth sin: Lust. Oh this one has lately been the worst I have lusted over friends boyfriends and other ppl. I Have been active on my sexuality this year more then before. I have done low things to have what I want and Its bad. I never ever thought I could even do something like this without feeling too much quilt or regret I do not know where this came from but I really have been doing bad bad things.
But there is a good side to this I feel more confident in my sexuality and I know what I like.
Ever since I broke up with my "so called boyfriend" I have basicly been taking who ever I want and doing what ever I want. It has been Fun but also I feel kinda bad abt it too. Its a huge dilemma for me should I even feel bad or not. I mean I'm a single girl just having my fun and getting more experience that I do need in this side of me, but also what does it make me. A whore?


Well that that. I thank everyone of my loved ones for this year. Hope the next one gives me clarity.

-Frozen

Movie list

 Heres all my movies listed


1.1408
2.Planet terror
3.The manson family
4.Hohto- the shining
5.Dagon
6.Blair witch projekt
7.Kuolleiden valtakunta*
8.Deathwatch
9.Grotesque
10.Hardcandy
11.Inception
12.Halloween (rob zombie)
13.Choke
14.Piraija(1978)
15.Night of the living dead(1968)
16.dawn of the dead(1979)
17.Death proof
18.Andre Wickström-Ensimmäinen jäähyväis keikka
19.Tyttö ja helmikorvakoru
20.Housut pois!-Full monty
21.Black snake moan
22.Vampire hunter D-Bloodlust*
23.Silver*
24.Jade
25.The Dark*
26.Taxidermia
27.Zack & Miri Make a porno
28.Chasing Amy
29.Das Experiment
30.Ilsa-The harem keeper of the oil sheiks
31.Ilsa-The she-wolf of the ss
32.Kellariväkeä*
33.I Spit on your grave
34.Bitch Slap
35.Tales from the darkside
36.Are your scared
37.Deep star six*
38.Amusement
39.The Nun
40.Creature
41.Suspiria
42.Last house on the left (1972)
43.Session 9
44.Maniac
45.Evil eyes*
46.Dracula(1931)
47.Violence in a Womans prisson
48.Hellraiser
49.Käärme ja sateenkaari*
50.Pahan yhteys*
51.Pet sematary
52.Silent night, Deadly night*
53.Vidocq
54.Teeth
55.Sisters
56.Battle royale
57.Wrong turn
58.Behind the mask*
59.Stay Alive
60.5ive girls
61.Parfyymi
62.Nuori Hannibal
63.Butterfly Effect
64.I Am Legend
65.Wolf creek*
66.Orpokoti
67.Three extremes
68.The mountain of the cannibal god
69.Insanitarium
70.Ichi the killer
71.My little eye
72.Basket case*
73.Kuudes aisti
74.The Brood*
75.An american haunting
76.The Amityville horror*
77.Thinner
78.Cannibal holocaust
79.Village
80.Silent hill
81.Hostel
82.Bride of re-animator*
83.Creepshow 2*
84.Creepshow
85.The Cell2
86.The Cell
87.House of 1000 corpses
88.The Devils rejects
89.jeepers creeppers 2
90.Jeeppers creeppers
91.Hannibal
92.Red dragon
93.uhrilampaat
94.Hostel 2
95.House on the haunted hill
96.Event horizon
97.Lost boys
98.Prom night (2008)*
99.Prom Night (1980)
100.The Omen
101.The Omen2-Kirous
102.The Omen3-7 tikaria
103.The chair
104.Sam's lake
105.Shrooms
106.Scream3
107.Scream2
108.Scream
109.Devils backbone
110.Pan's labyrinth
111.Gag
112.Lost boys2
113.Evil dead
114.Halloween 2 (Rob zombie)
115.Pathology
116.Captivity
117.The house on the edge of the park
118.Re-animator*
119.Scar*
120.Fright Night*
121.Psycho (1998)
122.Jacobs ladder
123.Martyyrit
124.turistas
125.Beyond treatment
126.Slither*
127.End of the line
128.The believers
129.Fragile
130.Ridickin aikakirjat
131.Pimeän uhka
132.Succubus (suomi)
133.Rites of blood
134.28 päivää myöhemmin
135.28 viikkoa myöhemmin
136.Ellen rimbauerin päiväkirja
137.Inside
138.KM31*
139.Black water
140.Frontiers
141.Storm warning
142.Rottweiler
143.Deepfear
144.Unrest
145.Hatchet
146.Tyttö kellarissa*
147.Gravedancers
148.Mortuary
149.2001 maniacs
150.Antichrist*
151.Numero 23
152.The haunting in connecticut
153.Mirrors
154.Hammaslääkäri
155.Carrie
156.Cloversfield
157.Jennifers body
158.Dracula (1992)
159.Funny games us.*
160.Rose red
161.Natural born killers
162.Black sheep
163.Hierro*
164.Alone with her
165.Last house on the left (2008)
166.My bloody valentine
167.Cabin fever
168.The uninvited
169.Pulse
170.Saw
171.Saw2
172.Saw3
173.Saw4
174.Saw5
175.Saw6
176.Petollinen on ihmissydän
177.300
178.Bellevillen kolmoset
179.Boondock saints*
180.Da vinci koodi
181.Fucking Åmål
182.Andre wickström live @pasila
183.Lolita
184.Fetishes
185.But I'm a cheerleader
186.Virgin suicides
187.10 things I hate about you
188.Scary movie3
189.The replicant
190.The marine
191.Clerks2
192.Good luck chuck
193.Grease2
194.Grease
195.The three amigos
196.The truman show
197.X (animesarja)
198.Sexual intelligence
199.Sicko
200.The aristocrats
201.Salo
202.Sherloc holmes
203.Salainen agentti 86*
204.Orlando
205.Dirty dansing
206.Transformers
207.Dark city
208.Shakespeare in love
209.Flashdance
210.Killing me softly
211.Marie antoinette(dokkari)
212.Sex and the city
213.Alfie
214.becoming Jane
215.The wrestler
216.Silmänkääntäjä
217.Dancer in the dark
218.pitkä kuuma kesä
219.another gay movie
220.Bill and Ted's Bogus journey
221.The rocky horrorpicture show
222.Kopps
223.Green dragon
224.Disturbia
225.American pie-The book of love
226.The passion of the christ
227.freedom writers
228.sin city
229.dodgeball
230.queen of the damned
231.the rules of attraction*
232.Milk
233.That girl from rio
234.Wanted
235.monsters ball
236.Jätä se!
237.coyote ugly
238.memoir of a geisha
239.Kuolleiden runoilijoiden seura
240.Frida
241.kiss kiss, bang bang
242.Rockstars
243.L.A. gigolo
244.quills
245.Mortal kombat2
246.Monty python-Hullu maailma
247.Inju-the geisha Killer
248.Bronson
249.Lupin the third-castle cagliostro
250.American pie-band camp
251.Kellopeli appelsiini
252.American pie- The wedding
253.Kunniattomat paskiaiset
254.If these walls could talk2
255.Brothers
256.v niinkuin verikosto
257.bowling for columbine
258.Gwendoline
259.Gans of new york
260.Elisabeth-kultainen aikakausi
261.Elisabeth
262.Van helsing
263.Jersey girl
264.veren vangit
265.blades of glory
266.precious
267.Dorian gray
268.Ghost
269.Phantom of the paradise*
270.Walk hard
271.Ritarin tarina
272.The crow
273.Show girls
274.Ja äitiäs kans
275.Salem witch trials
276.Velvet goldmine
277.mrs. Henderson esittää
278.scary video 5-Boy eats girl
279.Shriek 1
280.Kreikkalainen naimakauppa
281.Old school
282.Mummy returns
283.constantine
284.Ron Jeremy fucking in finland
285.Bullet in the head
286.kinky boots
287.Pin-ups2
288.batman begins
289.American pie-The Naked mile
290.Vampyyrin oppipoika*
291.Zohan-lupa saksia*
292.American pie-Beta house
293.Big fish
294.Klik!
295.Not another teen movie
296.Mallrats
297.Superbad
298.American pie2
299.Blood the last vampire
300.Moonlight lady
301.Extreme Movie
302.Brüno
303.V for vagina
304.Sisarelleni
305.Himon anatomia
306.Crossroads
307.Wild Wild west
308.Road trip
309.Jeff Dunham-Arguing with myself
310.Pablo francisco-Bits and peaces
311.Dead or alive
312.100 Girls
313.Mamma mia!
314.American pie
315.The wedding singer
316.Palindromes
317.Vuosi Nuoruudestani
318.Wall-e
319.Ilsa the Tigress of siberia*
320.The Eye(2008)
321.The eye
322.The Eye2
323.Kolmetoista
324.Little Miss sunshine
325.Boys don't cry
326.Juno
327.Painajainen elmstreetillä
328.Freddy's nightmare
329.Unien soturit
330.Unien valtias
331.Painajaisten lapsi
332.Freddyn kuolema
333.Uusi painajainen
334.Cruel intentions
335.Cruel intentions 2
336.Cruel intentions 3
337.Blame
338.Spectre
339.A real friend
340.The baby's room
341.Rakkautta vain
342.Holiday
343.Weird science
344.Sixteen candles
345.The breakfast club
346.Alien
347.Aliens
348.Alien3
349.Alien resurrection
350.Predator
351.Predator2
352.Alien vs. predator
353.Alien vs. Predator2
354.Kill Bill
355.Kill Bill2
356.Jackie brown
357.Reservoir dogs
358.From Dusk till Dawn
359.From Dusk till Dawn2*
360.From Dusk till Dawn3*
361.Full tilt boogie*
362.Modesty blaise*
363.Grand theft parsons*
364.Incident on and off the mountainroad
365.Dreams in the witch-house
366.Sick girl
367.Home coming
368.Jenifer
369.Cigarette burns*
370.Chocolate*
371.Deer woman
372.Pick me up
373.Fair haired child
374.Dance of the dead
375.Haeckel's tale
376.Imprint
377.The imaginarium of doctor parnassus
378.In the nick of time
379.Gilbert grape
380.Salainen ikkuna
381.Sleepy hollow
382.The man who cryid
383.Cry-baby
384.Don juan De marco
385.Ninth gate
386.Ed wood
387.Donnie brasco
388.Platoon
389.El mariachi
390.Desperado
391.Once upon a time in mexico
392.Chocolate-Pieni suklaapuoti
393.From Hell
394.Corpse bride
395.Blow
396.Benny & Joon
397.The astronauts wife
398.Sweeney todd
399.Public enemies
400.saksikäsi edward
401.Finding neverland
402.The libertine
403.Pirates of the caribean1
404.Pirates of the caribean2
405.Pirates of the caribean3
406.21 jump street Kausi 1
407.Pasila kausi1
408.Pasila kausi 2
409.Hellsing (Original series)
410.Bad girls kausi 1
411.Little britain kausi 1
412.L-Koodi kausi 1
413.Sinkkuelämää kausi 1
414.Sinkkuelämää kausi 2
415.Sinkkuelämää kausi 3
416.Sinkkuelämää kausi 4
417.Sinkkuelämää kausi 5
418.Sinkkuelämää kausi 6
419.CSI kausi 2
420.CSI Miami levyt 1 ja 2 kausi 2
421.Hopeanuoli koko sarja
422.Buffy kausi 1
423.Buffy kausi 2
424.Buffy kausi 3
425.Buffy kausi 4
426.Buffy the slayer collection Angel
427.Buffy the slayer collection Spike
428.Moulin rouge
429.Caligula
430.Heathers
431.Psycho
432.the birds
433.Henry-the portrait of a Serial killer
434.Push
435.Hellraiser 2- Hellbound
436.Juoksee saksien kanssa
437.Halloween (1978)
438.nightmare before chirstmas
439.Tokyo decadence
440.Brokeback mountain
441.American Crime
442.Black Angel
443.executions
444.Hellraiser3
445.Halloween h20
446.Urban legend
447.The Doll master
448.Tomcats
449.Viimeinen manaus/The last exorcism
450.See no evil
451.High fidelity
452.Candyman
453.Mamma roma
454.Decamerone
455.cantenburyn tarinoita
456.Tuhat ja yksi yötä
457.Intimacy
458.The Texas chainsaw massacre (1974)
459.Lost boys 3
460.The Hills have eyes (1977)
461.The Naked gun
462.Gestapo's last orgy
463.Inland empire
464.Charmed season 1
465.12 rounds
466.Roger dodger
467.Kinsey-Lets talk about sex.
468.Anatomy
469.Zombieland
470.Funny games
471.Spontaneous combustion
472.Seitsemän
473.Kaikki Äidistäni
474.Jali ja suklaatehdas
475.Piranha(2010)
476.Buffy season 5
477.Buffy season 6
478.Buffy season 7
479.Saw 7-the final chapter
480.Sihteeri-The secretary<3
481.Halloween 3
482.Joan of arc
483.Machete
484.Chicago
485.DN.Angel full series
486.Joutsen-prinsessa
487.Final fantasy-advent children
488.Notre damen kellonsoittaja
489.Kaunotar ja hirviö
490.Detroit rock city
491.Pelkoa ja inhoa las vegasissa
492.Blood the last vampire (live action)
493.The Invisible
494.Total comedy-Sami Hedberg
495.The Midnight meat train
496.A complete History of my sexual failures
497.Desire of the innocent blood
498.Eugenie the story of her journey in to perversion
499.Story of O
500.Salon Kitty
501.Sadomania
502.Evil dead 2
503.Suck
504.once upon a time in the west
505.Cabin fever 2
506.Mirror mask
507.paranormal activity
508.The New York Ripper
509.Torso
510.Ginger snap
511.Vlad
512.Pandorum
513.Hellraiser 5: inferno
514.Elisabeth
515.The Rocki Whore picture show-A hardcore parody
516.Pasila season 4
517.Thor
518.Ninja assassin
519.Miehen Mieli
520.Kummeli, Alivuokralainen
521.Fanboys
522.The Spirit
523.National treasure 2
524.Vares
525.V2-Jäätynyt enkeli
526.Requiem for a vampire
527.Shivers
528.Final Scream
529.Shawshank Redempion
530.Witchcraft
531.Marquis de sade, Justine
532.The Ward
533.Original Sin
534.Smart people
535.Rakkauden resepti
536.Dead like me
537.Great balls of fire
538.walk the line
539.Ninja Scroll
540.Battle royale II
541.Bad Biology
542.Videodrome
543.Oh my Goddess! volume 1
544.Oh my Goddess! volume 2
545.Il Cartaio- The card player
546.The Rite
547.Inferno
548.Shallow ground
549.Moon Child
550.Dementia 13
551.Sex is comedy.
552.Romance

Lyrics in english-class

Somethin I wrote just now at this class Lyrics in english.

To the master of my dreams.

I saw you one day a while ago and now

You got me bound more ways then one

I lie here waiting for your call

Torturing myself on the idea of you

You made me your slave with just a look

To live free is not an option anymore

I am submissive to your will

I am receptive to your pain

Oh please just take me away

I feel you here and in my dreams I see

You taking what I promise is yours

I lie here waiting for you to see me

Feel me, hear my heart screaming for you

You have me as a servant, just look at me

And see how I willingly surrender

I am submissive to your will

I am receptive to your pain

Oh please just take me away

I don’t dare to tell you I am crushing over you

I can’t bare the thought of you breaking my heart

I just wish you’d notice it your self

I have nothing to loose and everything to gain

But still I’d rather fantasize than get my heart broken

I am submissive to your will

I am receptive to your pain

Oh please just take me away

Oh please just take me where you want me.

Please want me…

New year! Ikonifest

So its 2012 already. Year ented last saturday and That day Rocked :D Riikka came from tampere on friday and we had a nice movie night (also my friend Cava came over just for the night.) Saturday morning me and Riikka woke up and went for coffee at a bar near my home. After that we desided to go meet up with our friends Sieni and Tuomas in vuosaari. Was so nice to see them it had been a while.
After that we went to gloria for Ikonifest its a party we had planned with this band Iconcrash and other fans. There were 5 bands (Unzyme, Rain diary, Fotoshop, Aves and Iconcrash).
I got there and watched the first band Unzyme (they were awesome) and after they stoped my back started to ache alittle and it just got worse. Then it was 00.00 and the ache disappeared almost complitely. We had so much fun after that.
When Iconcrash was performing someone sudenly hugged me from behind "Hey **** how r ya?!" I did regonize the guy but had no idea abt his name. So I tryid to introduced him to Riikka but because of the music didnt hear the name and neather did Riikka. We talked and he hugged me like... 3 maybe more times I was so like Who the hell is this guy? and after the Iconcrash gig I went out for a smoke and he was leaving and he came to me and was like "oh you're so cute tonight" and gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me and left I was stunned. Still I had no idea who this kinda cool, kinda nice, kinda hot guy who I clearly know and I did reginize him but the name and where have we met before.
Well me and Riikka had to leave and we said bye to all and left. In the bus I realized who the guy was. It was Ryan from Crystal rain I have like so many pics of this guy on my computer. How can I forget? I just dont get it.
So yep that was my New years eve :) Lovely evening it was and so nice to see ppl after the christmass time I spend totally alone at home.

-Frozen

Random thoughts.

Stuff I had wrote on my phone the other day...


At times I find myself thinking about how different things would be if I was "normal", pretty, thin or stable in any way. Would I have a boyfriend or even my very own little family? Would I have a job or even a career? Would my life be easy? Would I be able to travel?
Then I look at the people I think have that "normal" and easy life, they are glueless at the moment of truth. They get in to situations simular to what I have gone through and end up badly broken or even dead. They lack of the life experience I have.
I have gone through alot of things in my lifetime that some people never will. I dont look like a model but really who does? I have some issues but who doesn't? Life is not supposed to be easy, it is a long road that has hills and meadows as well as mountains and rough grounds.
I am different, I don't look the same, I don't sound the same, I don't talk the same, I don't walk the same and I sertaintly don't see the world same as most people. But I survive, I can handle it.
And If you don't like me... Well thats your problem not mine.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If you see me as ugly I suggest you look at the mirror first.

-Frozen

Rant about ppl.

From time to time I think that I have wasted too much time with ppl that dont deserve my kindness. Frankly they dont even deserve a though in my head, but hey! what can u do with a person who jumps up and down infront of u. Cant really forget them huh?

These particular ppl I have met years ago.
The one that pisses me off the least at the moment is a guy who I see very little but have known for 7 years. He is in a band and for like a year or two I have also been his biggest fan and supported their band with everything I had. Well now since the band has gotten some recognition the guy has desided that I am a fake whore and that I just wanna see them cause I wanna get with him. No that is so not what I want and specially now.
Back 7 years when I was just a kid and he was a cool older guy who used to wanna hang out with me, cause I gave him all the time he wanted and was the only person who supported his singin. This pissed me off alot, but well I happen to know from experience that one day he will come and cry to me that everyone has left him again. I would tell him that "If I do not deserve ur time when u r "famous" u do not deserve my time when u r not. U better try thinking who r ur real fans and friends. Come to me when u get the answer." Until that happens I'll be ok.

The other person I have known for 2 years or so. He has broken my heart several times and he as offended me many many times and Never has he admitted to being wrong or apologized to me. I stuck by him even when he was having a fight with a friend of mine who I have known for years more then him. Back at this party he had he tryid to hit on a friend of mine even tho he knew that I liked him back then.
I propably thought that I could change him or that he would be somewhat usefull to me or somethin.
He is a narcissist that uses ppl to his advantage all the time. He has stolen my Ideas and even some of my friends. He likes to drain all the energy out of u and then leave u hangin. He used to call me when he felt like shit and ask me to listen and maybe come over. After a while I noticed him tryin to turn ppl against me. Call me childish but this is what I think of him.
This is sad cause every each person he knows is talkin shit about him behind his back and still he claims that I am spreading rumors about him and stuff. I am propably the only person that has ever told him what I really think of him straight to his face.

I dont like to talk shit about ppl and I dont like to spread rumors so if someone has told u otherwise they clearly dont know me or have gotten pissed at me for some reason.

Oh btw heres his oppinnion on me.
"Your Idiocy knows no bounds. Some ppl actually think u r a good person under all that. U try to make everyone feel sorry for u. U spreat rumors and lies"
Do u guys think he is right?

These ppl have actually proven once again why I should not trust ppl, but since I like to think that everyone has somethin good in them I still try to. I have learned much from these ppl. Like the point that if someone offends u repeatingly they r not worth ur time or energy.
Its ok to accidentally offend someone but apologize its not that hard to do really. I admit to sometimes making mistakes and doing the wrong thing, but if I have done somethin wrong (and noticed it) I apologize and sort it out.

Sorry for this rant but I am having one of these days.

(I will not publish their names to everyone cause some of u dont know who I am talkin about and that would not be fair or right to these ppl.)

sExhibition spring 2011

So it came Spring and the sexhibition ;D Had alot of fun. This year was a little different cause I was "workin" there. I was a volunteer worker for SMFR
It was fun I met alot of new ppl from the genre and many other ppl. I actually met someone really interrestin but this stupid girl did not ask for his number or let him do what he wanted even she did REALLY wanted that too... STUPID ME! Maybe we'll meet again... Dunno. He did leave me a mark of himself... My hand will hurt for awhile its a little swollen... We had a tiny duel...
My aunt came to sexhibition too... That didnt feel awkward at all... Really funny. I was spankin a guy and my aunt with her man lookin at me...
So this is whats on my mind right now about this...

This years score...
New interrestin ppl.
A little of experienses on spankin guys and usin some equipment..
some bruses on my but..
swollen hand
Maybe a new friend or two

-Frozen (Pakaste perhonen)